She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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