When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
