she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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