Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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