it wasn't lemon gatorade
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
