literally had 100 drinks last night.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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