I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
