Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize