im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize