Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize