We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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