I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
