I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize