I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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