Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I love you. Go after that dick
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
