she smelled like a LAN party
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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