also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
