In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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