i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
