I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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