Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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