Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
