Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
