break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
