Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.