Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah