I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
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well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
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my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.