Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers