Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??