DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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