Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
