i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
