How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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