I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
