That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
