you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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