sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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