i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
