erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
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What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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