I think I died a long time ago.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
