Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
