Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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