my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
