toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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