maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
