That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
