Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
ttyl tear gas
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
