The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
