I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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