his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
