Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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