Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
