So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
