I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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