Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
