I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
