Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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