YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
