She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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