How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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