you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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