wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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