I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
