she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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