We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
