I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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