How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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