i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Your dad touched me again.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
