24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
