I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
